Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I MUST OBTAIN ONE.................... NO SCRATCH THAT, I WILL OBTAIN A FEW!!!!
I can honestly admit when I wrote my first rhyme at 15 my perception of the music business was totally different. I thought by doing something I love, which was rap... "I can get rich, buy cars, clothes, and a new house for my mother." My vision was being driven by the glamour I'd seen on the television. All I could think about was what kind of car I was going to buy or how many girls I was going to have. To a 15 year old kid this business can be very misleading. Wait a minute... What am I saying... To an adult this business can be misleading! All I'm saying is for years I had it all wrong. I thought that hip hop was about being flashy, arrogant, and gangster! So guess what happened to me??? I BECAME A MAN.
Although it took me from 15 to 22, 7 years to figure out that music is an expression of ones self and not a depiction of what BET displays. As Cliche as this may sound, I began to find myself. I figured out what it takes to become a true success. It felt like I struck gold! Now my goals and aspirations at 25 are extremely different. The things I once hid from my peers in fear of flack or that I just wouldn't look "STREET ENOUGH" I no longer hide. I like to read, I enjoy fine art, I listen to Bob Dylan, and Daft Punk... All things that I always thought was cool but wouldn't express it because where I come from it makes you soft to like anything other than 2pac, and sitting on a crate on the corner all day.
When I think about it now... The nerds in school were cooler than we were! Why, because they were themselves regardless of how many jokes or punches they took to the face for being different. I'm more comfortable in my own skin then I've ever been and I love who I am. As a result my music sounds better then it ever did. My values have changed and I want more from the business than a nice house and women. I want to be AN ICON! I want to be a contribution to music rather than degrade it. I WANT A GRAMMY!!!!!!!!
My mother always told me God never gives a person what they aren't prepared for. From 15 to 22 I experienced some of worst heartbreaks in this business. Bad deals, terrible management and untruthful people. But think about this...... Had I succeeded back then, I probably wouldn't be alive. My path then was more DEstructive than CONstructive. See you at the Grammys........ God bless